Lonely

well for the pretty much one person that will ever read this... cisco. lol i guess i'll just write this to you.

I dunno but lately i've been feeling really lonely for some reason. Even though i have 3 really good close friends i just feel like somethings missing. I've been doing a lot of pondering on my free time (which i have an abundance of) as u know cisco, we do have no lives. And i THINK i came to the conclusion what it might be... a girl. i know as i look back to my previous blogs it looks like alll i write about is girls lol pretty pathetic but ya. i just really want to find a GOOD nice girl that i can have a REAL relationship with, u know? not just some girl to fuck around with and do all that stuff but a real relationship like someone who i can become real close with.

I dunno i look back to my jr year of high school wen i dated a girl named alicia zamora and man those 13 months i think it was of my life were amazing u know? i was truely happy and everything seemed perfect... side note i no way at all have feelings for her wat so ever, just sayin wen i was with a girl and had a real relationship with lol.... but back to that i dunno its hard though cause theres ... well seems like theres no girls around here though that are actually like that, the only girls i can think about r church girls but those ones either think i'm a crack head or r just.... not my type at all. lol

Maybe i dont even know wat my type is? do i even have a "type"? I look at all the girls i've "talked" to or dated and none of them have anything in common at all... maybe i need to figure out first wat my type is? i duno i told myself just let the girl come to u... well i tried that and i had NO luck wat so ever. lol i just dont know anymore....

maybe i need to like frickin move down south or just somewhere else for awhile for a change in pace in my life and start fresh.... cause it seems like around here as soon as u get a reputation it just sticks with u forever... and the rep i've been gettin lately isnt a good one and theres no way to clean it up cause people will always keep tlakin shit bout other people and it seems like i'm just the hot one to talk about right now... i dunno wat do u think cisco? (since ur probly the only person ever that will ever take the time to read this... lol)