Where Life is going (continued....)

Since "Where life is going" was so long I decided to break this part off into its own post of its own... This is my friend trouble i've been struggling with...

Another subject that has been killing me is the subject of my two best friends, Shane and Aku. These two guys mean the world to me and i would HONESTLY not have to hesitate to take a bullet for one of these guys. Ya a lot of people say they would take a bullet for someone, but me i realistically mean it, if i had to i would END MY life just for them to live... A few months ago one of them left for college, aku. It was one of the hardest things ever for me to do is just let go and watch him leave for Long Beach. The night b4 he left Shane, Aku, and i just sat at starbucks drinking some coffee and smoking some cigs (like we would always do for so long b4 he left) not saying one word, but rather just enjoying the company of eachother for one last time. It killed me, that night i cried and cried and cried when i got home. Me and Aku have been best friends since the 2nd grade (when we were only 7 yrs. old) and now we're 18 and 19 years old........... And now my other best friend shane is here with me and its been me and him together since aku left. Shane and I have been best friends since we were 5 years oldd. The thing is though he's in a band, with aku, and they're finally starting to hit that point in the band where there striving to get signed and now can almost taste it and while i'm SOO happy for them because its been Shanes dream since the 7th grade, i also find myself scared and sad. If they do get signed and go on a tour my only friend left will also be leaving me and i'll end up alone. And it scares me to death, the thought of being alone with no body, especially without my 2 best friends who i've had my entire life with me since i was 5 and 7 and to think of life without them... i just cant imagine it... I konw again i sound like a little bitch complaining but you know what i dont have a gun to your head forceing you to read it so if you dont like it dont read any more.... But to see him leave and go on tour for months on end and even maybe moving to Nashville, Tennesse.... i just couldnt imagine it. We've been together for so long life without them is just so hard to imagine because i've never really experienced it. I dont know i just needed to vent about these things that have been keeping me contained for days and just buddled up inside of me eating me away. i just needed to set them free.